Dreamland

Asking the moving star a hope
A hope that’s so absurd to reach
When woke up you’re here beside me
Did you dream about me?

Asking the moving star a wish
A wish that’s so impossible to get
When walked home you’re here waiting for me
Did you wish like I did?

Isn't it so impossible to make it real?
We share the wish of the brightest dream
Isn't it so impossible to wait the morning sun?
You’re here beside me
Lay your head down on my shoulder
And I wash your tearing eyes
Stare tomorrow in our hands

Asking the moving star a wish
A wish that’s so impossible to get
When I showed you my love you did it too
Do you really love me like I do?

Our deep heart will never lie about this feeling
And the brightest dream seems out of reach
Shouldn’t we make it real?
So the blue turns into light


[Monday, 24 July, 2000 10:31:46 am]

The Thinking Dust

dust
a little thing
flying swept by the air, everywhere
the hardest the air blew, the farthest the dust flew

dust
a little thing
if you think it is little
a huge thing
if you think it is so big
a gigantic thing
if you see it is so huge

it depends where your position is
and how you see the dust itself

the dust is seen as a huge giant
the dust is also seen as the smallest particle
it depends how you mean it
how you notice it

these planets, stars, or sun is a dust
solar system, galaxy, and universe are just a dust too
how about a person?
how about this thinking dust?

Journey of a Heart

flying across the wide world of mind
couldn’t count anymore how much steps I take
from the first stepping stone till the next
just want to know the meaning of a feeling

in and out the windows of emotion
couldn’t think anymore how hard I try
from the pieces of the roads till the ends
just try to understand the meaning of the sign

show me, show me the way
it’s a journey of my heart
to feel the taste of glittering heart of love
show me, show me the way
it’s a journey of my heart
to make the pray comes true

there isn't another reason to run away
and this hopeless heart tries to
make this dream comes true
and let me carve my name in the deep of your heart

climbing up the highest path of destiny’s game
couldn’t stand anymore how hard I live
from the simplest question to the hardest
just try hard to answer the meaning of love


[Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 10.14 a.m.]

why there is something what we call love

Why there is something what we call love
The simple but big thing
One may have it, or maybe not
From the little kid to the last generation

Why there is something what we call love
Betray and lie, like dislike, hate and prefer
Peace and war are just the light of love
One should keep the light
So that it won’t fade out or turn to burn

Why there is something what we call love
Sometime it runs so far when we chase
It comes closer when unneeded
Sometime it flies higher when we chase
It gives warmth when unwanted

even the ugly and the innocent
even the cruel heart, stubborn, and die harder
even the bitch, and the selfish material woman
even the terrifying lions and other monster
even the stone, grave, and epitaph
even the water, the air and the dirt
even the fire, the stars, the moon and the sun
even the death and the evil have the feeling of love
haven’t you one?
That could be the reason
Why there is something what we call love

It’s so simple but big thing
Why there is something what we call love
Why should we call it love
You may have your own answer


[Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 10.14 a.m.]

Mirror of Me

Walking through the long path all alone
Trying myself to find out my own mind
It was probably so selfish to leave my self lonely
without any part of my own feeling accompany
I began to lose control

I opened again and opened again the window of my heart
Letting the light of the moon gave me the shadow
It was probably not so easy for me to get out from this grief
Even if I asked myself or the shadow where my mind was
Ah, maybe I wasn’t that innocent

When woke up in the brightest morning
Watching around in the mirror the body in front of me
Was it me ? Were you myself?
I had to believe that it wasn't
Because the picture in the mirror was head banging

Heard the knock of the heart’s door
Making the pulse of my feeling going wild
I doubted was myself coming?
And when myself screamed out loudly : Eureka! Eureka!
I began to recognize that voice
I found it wasn’t a dream
through the eyes of myself, I found myself smiling
so nice and very innocent - like me
yes, like me - said myself


[Friday, May 26, 2000  06.25 p.m.]

Love Might be Blind

Like that morning,
When the sun crawled so slowly
sending its warmth to every words in my poems
cheered them up and made them laugh
so they could feel the strength to start the new step

Like that morning,
When the blind tried to paint the rainbow
blowing out his sight to every color on his canvas
brightened it and made it so smooth
and the birds flew above the rainbow he painted

D’ you see that?
The blind smiled so proudly
Then he painted a cute nymph walking down the rainbow stairway
She smiled and gave her hand to the blind
He put a fresh purple rose
and she welcomed it with warm kisses
love might be blind, but still could bite

Like that morning,
When the rain came down again
pouring the deep feeling about dream and pray
and he painted again and made it true
and the love might see something
like the fantasy met reality
like that morning.


[Friday, May 26, 2000  06.25 p.m.]

Midnight Rainbow

Isn’t that difficult to catch you?
Isn’t that so hard to chase you?
Isn’t that too absurd to love you?
Why do those all happen to me?

Don’t you give me a time to catch you?
Don’t you give me a time to chase you?
Don’t you give me a time to love you?
So why don’t you give me a sign?

Loving you seems so hard for me
Like picking up the star in the bright sky
Loving you seems too high for me
Looks like expecting rainbow at the midnight

Ask me three wishes and I promise to give you
I really don’t care how so hard it will be
Tell me what your dream and I promise to make it real
I really don’t care although I should bet my life

Don’t you give me a chance to catch you?
Don’t you give me a chance to chase you?
Don’t you give me a chance to love you?
So please show me the rainbow at the midnight
Show me the rainbow at the midnight


[Saturday, June 17, 2000 3:39:54 PM]

Attach our Heart

Just listen to what heart says
It talks about us why we are apart
Do you hear it what it says
It won’t like us to stay away

Just listen to what heart says
It tells the truth why we do lie
Do you realize what it says
It doesn’t really wants us to live like this way

Open up and attach our heart
Cause it likes so much what we use to be
Don’t ever turn back the reality
Make this dream comes true
Let’s attach our heart

Just listen and listen to what heart says
It looks like the nicest orchestra in the glory night
Feel the beat of each melody
This bless do waits for us to attach our heart


[Sunday, June 11, 2000 9:57:02 AM]

I Wait for Nobody

And I want nobody
I want no one
I want nothing
I don’t want whatever to cry

And I wait nobody
I wait no one
I wait nothing
I don’t wait whatever to die

Time won’t change itself
Heart won’t change itself
Life won’t change itself
Love won’t change itself,
If we won’t either

And I need nobody
I need no one
I need nothing
I don’t need whatever to love you

And maybe it’s just a matter of a heart
A heart that won’t ever lie


[Sunday, June 11, 2000 9:57:02 AM]

AN ODYSSEY

Slowly I grabbed the white curtain
The light of the morning sun crashed my eyes,
so I just closed my eyes
When I tried to open it I saw
the sun made a picture of me very clearly
Smiling to me as it was real

Slowly I walked closer and gave my hand
I asked whether the smile was a mockery
He told me an ode and an odyssey
Showed me to the rainbowpath that I had to take
That suddenly confused me

I screamed lead me there, take me there
to the place that seems like offlimits to me
I screamed lead me there, take me there
to the place I’ve ever built before
where the love isn't only a holy word
it is sacrificed as it’s used to be

Slowly I became the picture and watched me
Asked myself to come and gathered to the flower field
Where we could enjoy an orchestra of life
An extraordinary music that eternally being played and never ended up
The song for whom it had been dedicated to
We leaded there.
We were leading there.



Wednesday, May 17, 2000
11.50 am

They are What They are

Let the river flow
Where ever it goes
Let the wind blow
Where ever it dances
And let the sun rise
When ever it lights

We can’t stop their wish
We can’t stop their joy
So Please, let me tell you
That they have their own way

Let the flowers bloom
Where ever they live
Let the seasons change
As they have to be
And let our children grow
‘cause they have their own world

We can’t stop their wish
We can’t stop their joy
So please, let me tell you
That they have their own way

They……….
They are what they are
They know what they do
Let them be the ones
Who know their own life
That is just what we have to do.


[27 April 1998 almost 11 o’clock]

For The Time .....

When I look at the stars in the space
When I look at the waves from the seashore
When I look at the rain drops from the sky
I feel how so small and powerless myself
I fell there must be something behind those all

When I read the floods ruin everything
When I read the wind destroys surroundings
When I read the earthquake scares living things
I feel how so small and powerless myself
I fell there must be something behind those all

When we have to step ahead
After we realize that we’ve been doing wrong
When we have to start new step
Before we’ve turned to the worst of the worst

We know that there is something we can do
We know that we must change
what we have to do

Before the doom’s coming to us
We should prepare ourselves for that
Before our destiny takes care our life
We should be ready for the time
For the time

[25 April 1998 almost 11.00 am]

360 (you may read it as "EGO")

Look, you just look!!!
This is me, like what you look in front of you
I am who I am and what I am and I will always be
Always like this
I am not you and you are not me and never like that

I can’t make you like me and you can’t either
We will always be different and never be the same
Different is much better
because the same is not always good
In justice, same is often unneeded
fair is not the same
different is not always unfair
In diversity we can blossom unity
and complete each other
That’s probably the reason
why Allah creates couples, races, tribes, and nations
and colours

If our kids understand diversity
There will never be any wars
And they will live in harmony
In peaceful love and live


(end of january 2009)

doubt

Saturday, April 26, 2003

DOUBT (Begini ya rasanya)

It’s just about time. We know nothing when our plans suddenly don’t work at all. Only deep breath we could take. Nothing more than that. Sadness, unhappiness, and sorrow often appear after all. It’s truly nothing we could change.
That’s maybe the proper time we needed someone to rely on.
OH YEAH? NO! Screaming so loudly might help. Please no friend or other people!!
Let me continue my life with my own way. I’ll take all risk.
Searching lonely place to hide?

It could be better, but no place is too safe to hide. There are so many eyes in this world. Even in the deepest blue ocean or darkest cave.
So?
So what? There’s nothing we can do. Nothing! I say nothing, NOTHING!
full stop!!!

I don’t wanna damn myself.
Is this?
Is this how it feels?
It looks like loneliness among the crowd. It’s like nightmare on the most expensive and comfortable mattress.
Do what you like to do and I will what I want to.
Finished?
Turn back!

Don’t say a word, don’t say anything, don’t say goodbye!
Maybe this is how it feels. Beginilah rasanya.
Ever felt like this?
Maybe later.